Meaningful Coincidences

My Face (and arm) Painting at the Annual Chili Cookoff...

2011-10-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

A body in motion...

2011-10-10T17:55:00.001-07:00

...Tends to stay in motion. Despite the threatening clouds and the chilly wind, we went to Discovery Gateway, grabbed drive-through
Albertos and ate at the park. I'll trade warm hands for happy, sweaty kids any day.

I Was Whining About the Weather...

2011-10-06T15:46:00.001-07:00

And I realized the day could be worse. Try and keep your tires on, folks.

BACK, Baby!

2011-10-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

I finally made it back to Krav Maga on Tuesday this week. I was really worried I would have a really hard time keeping up, but it wasn't terrible. I'm still sore, and class is tonight. I think I need to suck it up and go. I loved seeing my KM friends again. They're like a really dysfunctional branch of my family. :D
We worked on knife defenses... And I had forgotten a lot. Oh, and the push-ups were wicked hard. Still, participating in class was my sign to myself that I was finally feeling normal. Stupid surgery.
This is us.
This is how lucky we are to have Kat here in SLC.

Well, they taste great.

2011-10-04T21:10:00.001-07:00

I made mini salami meatball burgers the other night. They were really, really easy, and they tasted great with garden tomatoes and olive tapenade.
The thing is, I couldn't look at them.
They made me feel like I killed something, which is weird when u consider I have no problem with handling raw meat.
I think I'll split the meatballs next time.
The kids LOVED these!

Thank You, Thank You!

2011-09-21T21:00:00.001-07:00

I cant thank everyone enough for your thoughts, your prayers and your kind gestures. I especially want to thank Sam n Yndi for the Pie and Tawni for the chicken.
It was all so delicious!
I'm absolutely sure it sped up the healing process. Thank you!!!

Work misses me?

2011-09-19T14:25:00.001-07:00

So thoughtful!! Thanks a million!! They smell fantastic...

Sweetest Mom on earth.

2011-09-17T20:48:00.001-07:00

Yep. She just up n brought me a chocolate cake. Thanks, Mom!!

Learning to Sit Still

2011-09-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

I had no idea it is so difficult not to do things. I can't lift more than ten pounds, per the discharge instructions. I stared at the 5 pound weights that B left out this morning and contemplated how stupid it would be to put them away one at a time and do the stairs twice. I started to rationalize: I already partially split the top incision open. It's ten pounds, not 11. I'm sure I've already lifted ten pounds.
It devolved into this. It hurts. My kids need to learn to pick up after themselves. Self-discussion ended.
Funny how "it hurts" solves so many issues.
It was good to spend the days at my mom's. I didn't want to get up and clean the house. (Her house is always immaculate.) Here, though, it's different.

I feel twice as good as I did yesterday. It is remarkable how fast my body apparently heals. Just ask the doctor.

General Anesthesia

2011-09-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

About today:

25 hour fast.
Warm blankets Peruvian mummy style.
Two new scars.
Inflatable warming suit.
Waking up to unreal news.
Nurses calling me "Houdini".
Riding there and back in a Metermaid's Jeep.
Insomnia after 8 PM.
Sweetest kids. Ever.
Stayed at Mom's recovery spa.

Pain. Unexpected and Expected

Oh, hey. New hair.

2011-07-24T14:11:00.001-07:00

I got tired of my hair. I'm trying out me-as-a-blonde. I'm liking it.

My Oblad ancestry remembered...

2011-07-24T12:20:00.001-07:00

I got to go to an extended family reunion yesterday. I met extended relatives for the first time and was delighted to get to know these remarkable, interesting people. They brought their photos and artifacts (see pics) and shared the history they had preserved. I saw articles about my grandpa clipped from newspapers I'd never seen.

I have to thank my third cousin, Adam Oblad, for coordinating the reunion. I really enjoyed my time there and even though I thought the kids would be bored pretty quickly, they surprised me by having so much fun they didn't want to leave.

Halloweenathon

2010-10-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

I can't find my camera. I saw it last during the birthday party...

The month of October is one of my favorites. That's special, because it's not a summer month. I love summer, and more or less hate winter. But B's birthday is in October, so it's a double-fun thing. His birthday parties double up as Halloween parties. He has enjoyed the mix. The problem is that we have a lot of his school friends over, and I don't know what a lot of them look like without costumes.

I don't know what happened this year. I cared a lot less about decorating. Half of my spooky stuff stayed in the tubs. I didn't sew anything. I didn't mold any fake body parts. I think I reached the Halloween critical mass.

Anyway, here's the run down:

1. Party at Jed -n- Patti's. Ten minutes to get a costume on and go. Not bad.

I don't even know how to caption that last photo. Wow. "Trixie" made the party. The kids thought we were hilarious and promptly dug out their own goofy costumes.

We got a couple of ideas, tried on some stuff.

Some disguises were improvised...
And L went to a festive recital...
And played with Glowy stuff.

But then, the actual party snuck up on me. We sent out invites to B's whole class and a few more, and about 20 kids came. The party rocked, if I may say so.

We turned the garage room into a haunted house and the kids made slime and played games. B had an awesome birthday. In fact, he had so much fun, I never got a picture of his Assassin costume. And if I did, it's on the camera I can't find. (Good thing there's one on my phone.)

"Why are you taking my picture again?"
Dear W, please stop singing "crazy train." Thanks.
At last, the alien hive queen, in character. She comes in peace. (Yeah, right. Yep, that's a pink sword.)

OK. More to come. Seriously, lots more. More Halloween stuff. Come back soon.

Post-Grad Slackering

2010-10-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hey.

No, I didn't give up blogging. It just went on the shelf for a while. Now it's back by popular demand. Well, not so much popular demand, but lots of people whining at me about it. Love you guys. Seriously, I've been really busy. I know, I know. Shocking.

Really, I'm not sure a full catch-up post is in order. There's just too much. There's NYC and Lake Powell and Krav Maga and my [very anticlimactic] graduation from the U. I may choose to post about these things in the near future.

I did get my degree, a BA in English. I'm glad to be done, but the one thing I've lost seems to be my attention span. Before going back to finish my degree, I'd pick up a book and read it even if it bored me. Not now. Maybe it was reading a couple of books a week (most of which bored me) that killed it, but dear authors, if you don't have me turning pages like crazy by page 25, sorry- Life's too short. This, of course, cuts out a great deal of literature. My new challenge is to write without boring myself, and to try and read books without dissecting them into something unrecognizable.

This is a problem. See, I'm already bored with this post. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Or finish the NYC draft I've been working on (on and off, mostly off) since August.

Thank you in advance and in retrospect for your patience.

Long time, no blog...

2010-05-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, hi! You guys are still reading this thing? That's awesome, but let's be honest. Isn't it time for some new material?? Sheesh. December, last post? Pathetic, huh?

Here's the short list of catch up items:

School took over my life. I've had a little breather, but it's starting back up. Good news is, if I pass everything, I'll graduate (finally, I know! Shut up.) in August. And we will sing the Hallelujah chorus in the shower for weeks afterward.

In January, I thought it would be prudent to balance my intense literature-based educational workload (3 books a week, averaged) with some kind of physical activity. I thought a yoga class might be fun, nice, calming... but then, if you know me at all, you know that I need something a little more... intense?

I started taking Krav Maga. (Found out about it on a friend's wall on Facebook...) It was even on the Simpsons. It's the best workout I've ever, EVER had. I love it, and I may actually have to curb the ninja jokes, because... well, they're true now. HAHAHA!!

Ok. School, Krav, Oh- new car.

The transmission on our green car blew out. I sold the van, and we got a Camry. It's nice. Not fast, but nice.

K... What else? Work is great, fam is great, oh, except for W being the token injured scout at the scout-a-rama this year, with five on-site stitches and a severed tendon (Stephen, who is moving, can tell you EXACTLY which parts he cut) from accidentally jumping on a throwing knife (!) that he bought without his dad's knowledge (!), that slipped out of its non-secure holster (!), bounced pointy-end up (!) just in time to go through W's shoe, sock and foot (!) while he was jumping off a wall in an obstacle course (!) built by our own troop (!). He was on crutches for a week and missed doing the on-stage parts of his school play, (he did the lights) but it's healing. Stitches are out. He may still need surgery to reattach all the stuff he slashed.

That and, we all were treated to a case of strep that involved a lot of gastrointestinal symptoms in the kids (read: Lots of Laundry) but we're all nearly recovered.

We got another turtle, so Scramble now has some company. I think the kids named him Caesar. That was accurate a week ago, at least.

Yeah, that's about it.

Family party!

2009-12-22T07:04:00.000-08:00

I love seeing my extensive, extended family! I feel so blessed that so many of them were there last night. I wish I'd taken more pictures, but I got distracted, cuz these people are so fun!

Crystal Hot Springs

2009-12-16T19:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it's good to just up and leave town. So we did.

During the day, the campground was gorgeous. B loved the ducks in the warm creek. There were enormous fire rings that sounded like gongs when you threw things in them. The geese made great alarm clocks. And hey, we had electricity and heat.

Here's the rig. All of it was borrowed. Thanks, Dad & Mom & Burt.

I love, love, love the heater in the trailer.

B, so happy and loveable.

Haha. Well, he is our family tree-hugger...

Such great campers.

Gross ultra hard-water swimming face and hair on me, but L looks perfect.

The campground seemed nice enough, and it was really full. We shut down around 10:30 and the kids went right to sleep, but these big fat diesel trucks rolled in, and we were blessed to enjoy the high-volume conversations of a bunch of drunk, obnoxious loggers. It was seriously ridiculous. I kept thinking they would pass out any moment, but it went on interminably.
During the night, a storm blew in and the wind tossed us around pretty hard. The kids didn't even wake up. I was half-awake most of the night trying to calculate in a sleepy brain whether the trailer had enough weight not to get blown into the river by the high winds. Uh, but I couldn't figure it out because I was really incoherent. (We didn't flip, and I worried for nothing.) In the morning, the storm was still hanging around, and it was SO cold.

Still, It was fun. We had the place pretty much to ourselves except for a busload of "private school" kids that attended a "boarding school" somewhere nearby. Their counselors/chaperones clarified that every kid at their "school" was there for committing some sort of crime. It was a little disconcerting to find myself in an oversized hot tub with about 16 bad adolescents. I got out and went to the big pool, leaving Robb to try and figure out what these kids did to get themselves into such a cushy correctional program.

But by far, the weirdest part of this whole thing was the revival that happened to be taking place the same weekend we hit Crystal Hot Springs.

These people had set up a "tabernacle" in the group campground area- way too close for me- and were holding religious meetings and blasting music that seemed a lot like a blend of Christian pop, Yiddish folk music and bad 80's slow dance garbage. (Yeah, it was awful. It was painful.) They kept their 'eternal flame' going with an enormous pile of firewood and sort of kept to themselves. Sort of. There were a couple of teenagers in that group that were sneaking down to the river... So rebellious.

During their... festivities (??) we stayed at the hot pots as much as possible, because we couldn't hear it there. The pots themselves were great. There were a bunch of pools and pots and they all had different temperatures. I couldn't stay in the 104-degree one very long, but I love the way it makes your skin tingle and your toes feel cold.

The most insidiously cold rainstorm.

The one break in the clouds before we opted to head home. Note to self: If you go again, bring LOTS of conditioner.

Christmas Cheer...

2009-12-16T18:20:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about Christmas is seeing your kids get excited for it. They were so excited to have us come to their school performance. They're growing up way too fast...

Even more amazing (ridiculous) shoes

2009-10-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

So, like Minnie Mouse, but black. Gotta love the tights selection available right around Halloween, huh?

So maybe it's the pantyhose that are so riduculous here. But COME on! They have seams. How cool is that? (A: So, so cool. And retro.)

And these little clear vinyl things with the jewels got a h0le (sic) lot more comfy after I attacked them with a hole punch.

The pink part. It's all about the pink part.

The favorite boots. At least until I find my next favorite pair.

The farthest West on I-80 I've ever been...

2009-09-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

Lake Powell Highlights (Part 1)

2009-08-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

(Catch-up) Man-town Jr.

2009-07-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

We had extra boys over for the weekend. It was awesome. They seemed to have fun. We kept them hyped up on sugar and they stayed up way too late; standard ops for a slumber party.

A little heathen dancing...

Post-exhaustion vegetative state.

I wish I could remember what he was so excited about.

Chocolate cake?

Mountains of legos.

I love this expression. I don't know what it is, but I love it.

And.... they're done.

Park City

They look so tough.

"Don't take my picture."

The only girl had it pretty rough. She escaped to the trees.

Diving the Crater!!

2009-07-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

Hummingbirds

2009-07-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

tonight, Sunday evening, I was out watching the hummingbirds up at my parent's. They will land on your hand if you can hold still for a long time. It feels amazingly cool; you can barely feel their feet because they're so light. It's awesome feeling the air move around their wings.

Timp Cave Hike

2009-07-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

I'm catching up; these pics are from June 10th. It was a great hike and the kids were troopers.

To me, this looks gastrointestinal. Ick.

Me, W, and W's chewed-up sunflower seeds.

Note the sign warning B about how to fall...

Weird, snakey tree.

Diving class #1- SO cold!

2009-07-07T11:38:00.001-07:00

Here's me studying the manual and becoming enlightened as to the finer principles of introductory SCUBA skills.

Here's our group getting ready to go under the ICY COLD water.

Here are the poster children for our dive class. Have fun at the Great Barrier Reef, you lucky ducks.

Becky and I got smart and got out before we became totally hypothermic. Let's hear it for sensibility.

No, he's not dead. He's breathing. At least I think so.

July 3rd, Up at Mom's

2009-07-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

We had another wonderful, crowd-free fireworks show tonight, but it wasn't just the fireworks that made it great. The moon was out and gorgeous, and rolling in over the lake, a storm was flashing bright yellow lightning that was visible all through the fireworks. The wind picked up just after the fireworks and it was a perfect night for crashing out on the balcony while we waited for the traffic to clear out. I got 30 minutes of perfect sleep, even on the iron bench.

Thanks mom, for the burgers. Thanks, Richard, for the cake & cookies, and thanks, Sam & Yndi, for the cheesecake. I just love people who feed me.

Air Show

2009-06-22T19:27:00.001-07:00

Clouds?

Never.

Cold?

Nah.

Rain?

Nope.

Hail?

Uh-uh.

Church?

(shhhhh.)

Can nothing keep us from going to see really, really, really fast airplanes?

Apparently not. We love the airplanes.

Oh, and I love that guy's kilt, to the left of my feet. I have kilt envy.

SMA Art Ball, part II

2009-05-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

It was so fun! What else needs to be said?

SMA Art Ball, part 1; the art.

2009-05-17T16:29:00.001-07:00

We go every year. Every year, it is amazing, excellent, delicious, fun and glamourous. This year's addition of the sculpture garden added a stunning new facet to an already fantastic art experience.

It doesn't hurt, either, that it functions as a bit of a reunion, and I get to catch up with my relatives, who are, of course, excellent people.

I loved the art. There is something stunningly arrogant about museums. I walked around, looking at the creations, wondering why the human imagination occasionally demands such an all-consuming outlet. Most of us are contcnt to walk through life on the prescribed path, but some people feel compelled to constantly discover and explain what it is to be human in millions of different ways. Here are my favorites:

There were so many others I loved. I wish I had snapped a photo of the painting of the young man and his dying grandfather, or the painting of a girl that was nearly indiscernible from a photograph, or the dress manufactured from chains, bubble wrap, and a large twig. But I didn't; I was enjoying the company and the atmosphere too much. (See part II)

It was, as always, worth every minute of the drive to Springville

The Birth of the "Mini-Picnic"

2009-05-11T22:48:00.001-07:00

L: "Mom, can we have a picnic?"

Me: "I'm too tired to make one."

L: "PLEASE can we have a picnic?"

Me: "I'm so tired..."

L: "Please?"

Me: "How bout tomorrow?"
L: "Noooooo."

Me: "How bout a mini-picnic?"

L. "OK. What's a mini-picnic?"

Me: "It's where you just eat popsicles on the trampoline."

L: "OK. Can we have it right now?"

Me: "Sure."

L: "I'll get the popsicles."

When it's so bad it's funny.

2009-04-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

It's going to rain. What's funny about that is that two days ago, W emptied all the contents of the shed into the yard with the claim that he was "organizing". He lost interest.

It's possible that today was fated to be bad. I got only two or three restless hours of sleep last night, and that's never good. Still, I made it out the door on time, with a glass of chocolate instant breakfast (a feeble attempt, I know) in hand. I grabbed a couple of cans of Diet Coke on the way out, too. On the way to school, I tried to drink the chocolate stuff, but it was clashing with my toothpaste (or so I thought). Finally, I started feeling queasy, like I should pull the car over and barf, and I smelled the container. BIG mistake. I felt sick and couldn't get that smell out of my nose. I finally got to the U and parked the car. I turned it off, zipped my keys into my bag, and got out to dump the stuff out. AND... the door shut behind me, locking me out. I called Robb but decided just to go to class and worry about it after. There's no experience quite like walking into class late carrying absolutely nothing except a cell phone.

After class, I called him back after realizing that parking services could probably take care of getting it open. The parking guys had it open in about ten minutes, and the poor soul who parked next to me and wanted to leave was penned in by their security vehicles. He asked me if I was a teacher already. (I was still feeling sick). At least it wasn't raining.

So they got the car open and checked my license and registration to make sure I wasn't trying to steal an old dented station wagon (!!!) and I locked it back up and went to my next class, 25 minutes late, where Rebecca informed me that I missed the best discussion ever. Of course. By this time, I was getting really tired, and I had the warm, flat coke from the car and drank the rest of it in class. I thought I should eat something for real, so I picked up a sandwich from the library. I took it outside, camped out by a cute little garden and tried to eat it. It had all this melted mayo on it. I hate mayo. Melted mayo is worse. Just looking at it turned my stomach, so I gave up and drank my other diet coke instead. This, of course, made me goofy, jittery and hyper in my last class, and that class went extra long. I made it home, begged the kids not to fight and do their homework, and decided to apply the only cure I know for a horrendous day:

Photographer: B

It's hard to come by adorable presidents, unless...

2009-03-29T11:29:00.001-07:00

...you get to visit Mrs. Randall's 6th grade class. These guys did an amazing job of researching, writing about and "becoming" their chosen U.S. President/first Lady in a memorized monologue. It was amazing. Congratulations on a job well done, kids.

Teddy Roosevelt

George Washington

Thomas Jefferson

Eleanor Roosevelt

What I do in my down time:

2009-03-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

Spring Break and three days off work. I haven't taken this much time off (not counting the annual Lake Powell adventure) since I started at the firm. It was a revelation.

Here are the highlights.

Day 1:

Shopping. Yard work (means worked on separating the concrete from the dirt in the ditch in the front yard. Anxiously anticipated the kids coming home because the silence was weird. Watched most of Transporter 3.

Day 2:

Yard work. Laundry. Watched the last five minutes of Transporter 3. Grocery run. Grilled hot dogs. Read with the kids.

Day 3:

Yard work (means filled in ditches, weeded the herb garden, picked up trash, pruned all the roses and the butterfly bush.) Laundry. Grouted backsplash, touch-up painted kitchen, wiped down all the cupboards. Watched a different Jason Statham movie.

Saturday:

Yard work (means played with chainsaw). Nap. Laundry. Cleaned basement. Hired neighbor kids to finish yard work. Read Chaucer.

CONSPICUOUSLY ABSENT: Homework. Law-related tasks. Shoes with more than a 1" heel.

I should do this again sometime.

Why I miss being a kid.

2009-03-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

[Overheard]

W: “OK but one bullet can kill you. In real life.”
B: No, no, cuz I’m water. Your bullets go right through me.
L: And I’m fire.
B: She melts your bullets.
W: Oh, um, ok. Then I’m, I’m that...

...what’s that stuff in volcanoes?
[me: Lava]
W: Lava. I’m lava.
B: Hey, then I can turn you to rock.
OH. I turn you to rock (splashing sound effect)

B: Now what?
W: Um, I’m fire. Like her.

December catch-up (random)

2009-03-02T18:13:00.000-08:00

Campus Day

2009-02-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

February=Cabin Fever=Restless monsters. Cure? Go somewhere.

We went to the beautiful U of U campus at dusk. They loved the big-ness of it.

"Mom, can we seriously climb on th0se rocks?"

Honest Abe. I swear, they asked for this picture.

*sigh* I miss him.

"Mom- It's like Star Wars. Take my picture"
Yes. That is a milk-sabre.

L wanted her own. No sharing the spotlight.

Playing with the mineral map. I love the mineral map.

"Mom! Look where the gold is!!!"

"Look at the jewels."

Trucks. Big Trucks. In miniature.

I think they had fun. They slept really well that night...

Things I LOVE

2009-01-23T21:47:00.001-08:00

I don't love the inversion, but when the fog rolled over the foothills near the capitol this morning, I ached for Pittsburgh. Utah is not known for it's foggy scenery but this was delicious.

I love my poets. Even the one who was there in spirit.

I love old books. These were on display up at the U in special collections. There is something about standing in front of a delicate object that was here 500 years before me and will be here after me that plays to something entirely visceral in my being.

I love a good medieval treatise on herbal medicine.

And I can even love one that is new but just looks really old.

Most of all, I love...

These wonderful, goofy kids of mine.

A Red Velvet Hat...

2009-01-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

...only looks good on some people. I am not among them.

I think a hat like this makes people act funny.

And makes you hyperconscious of the camera.

Fringe-y bangs help, along with ENORMOUS eyes.

And the appropriate attitudes.

I think he's got the blues.

You MUST wear it with pride, (He's the proud owner of the amazing hat)

Unless you look like this. Then 10 and 11 year-olds can't keep their hands off you.

I hope I never...

2009-01-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

...end up wearing half my butt up on my waist.
AND
If, by chance, I manage to get over this hideous ache from working out with my mom, I will continue to aspire for a higher level of exercise dedication. The problem is that it’s a difficult time to lose the weight, what with the delightful confections lingering everywhere. And when it’s the good stuff (like the Lindt bars on my bed) need I say more? Still, I claim to everyone and their dog that I will lovingly kiss all this surplus fat goodbye. Why is it that everything you eat from October to January tends to stick around? It’s like nothing you touch is healthy. It’s like, “Gee, should I eat this? Does this licorice now have consequences?” So now I repent, swearing to always be healthy and nurture my better habits. Maybe I could even get over being a dessert lover. Wish me luck. I need it, and I send lots of it out to anybody stuck in my boat.

Too lazy to blog.

2009-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

More pictures, posted on Facebook...

Happy New Year! (Happy New Hair!)

2008-12-31T21:18:00.001-08:00

My amazing mom and bro set up the salon thing for me today. Thanks a bunch! It was fun and relaxing and I LOVED the salon. Julie and Gabby made me feel right at home. Heads up: Sheer Indulgence in Bountiful. Write that down.

Before:

After:

(And the best part is, the really colorful sections come out.)

Picture a Christmas...

2008-12-29T08:05:00.000-08:00

Get to know me even better!! (at your own risk)

2008-12-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

Since you're visiting my blog, I'm going to assume that you want to get more information about me. Since I actually completed this email thing, (One of millions of these things) I figured I'd just post it. Blogging made simple.

And the weird picture is just to add visual interest and represent my obsession with multitasking.

But it got me thinking: what do I really want to know about people? I'm going to make up a list of questions and email it out. Maybe I should put a disclaimer on it. Chances are I will never see an answer to most of my questions.

Anyway, here's
"Getting to know you:"

1. What is your occupation right now? Mom, wife, office manager, paralegal, legal secretary, maid and chauffeur.

2. What color are your socks right now? pink and green on the right and pink and blue on the left.

3. What are you listening to right now? The blessed silence of a quiet office.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? an English muffin.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. But not in a semi. I tried a simulator once and killed it a lot.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? a VERY obnoxious and pushy salesman named Creed.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh, so very much.

8. How old are you today? Older than Karisa, younger than Alli.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Hockey is about the ONLY sport I'll watch on TV.

10. What is your favorite drink? hot chocolate

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Many, many times.

12. Favorite food? Really good pizza.

13. What is the last movie you watched? Nurse Betty

14. Favorite day of the year? Halloween

15. How do you vent anger? I kickbox.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos

17. What is your favorite season? Summer

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Strawberries

19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Sure, but I understand if they don't.

20. Who is the most likely to respond? Alli already did.
21. Who is least likely to respond? People who don't like these.
22. Living arrangements? stepping around the messes.

23. When was the last time you cried? Can't remember.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Family people.

26. What did you do last night? Hung out at my parent's house, then read a book.

27. What are you most afraid of? My kids getting hurt.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Huh? What kind of world has only those options? Mushroom Swiss burger from Best Burger in Bountiful. Alliterative, isn't it?! Also delicious.

29. Favorite dog breed? Mastiff

30. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

31. How many states have you lived in? UT, PA, OK, UT.

32. Diamonds or pearls? Both, please.

33. What is your favorite flower? Heirloom roses.

I was looking for a demonstration of what happens...

2008-11-28T19:38:00.000-08:00

When you mix chlorine and bromine. I didn't find it, but I did find a nice demo on bromine and alcohol, and then, this.

check this out.

Shut up, I know I'm a geek.

My Ongoing Education

2008-11-24T21:38:00.000-08:00

I was preparing for sharing time yesterday and looking for pictures of dirty dishes. I found this. www.twelvedrinkminimum.com/ miscellaneous.html

It put the fear into me. I could see my kids doing this. With pop cans. Or Legos.

We had a lovely lesson in primary about respect. The kids role-played different scenarios and how they would respond: What if you broke someone’s window? What if you left a bunch of wrappers everywhere? What would you do if you found a wallet? I printed pictures of a broken window, candy wrappers, muddy footprints, broken toys, etc. Oh, and a picture of a wallet stuffed with 60 bucks and an Ipod.

I called on one of my most favorite kids, “Sparky”on the wallet scenario. (I should have known better.)

It went something like this: One Sunbeam, “Mr. Jones,” “dropped” the wallet, and then “Sparky” came along and “found” it. The other kids gave input on what he should do with it. “Give it back.” “Find the owner.” “Ask your mom to help you find the person who lost it.” “Sparky” looked at the wallet hard. He looked at the money. He refused to answer the question. I said, “Do you think you should keep it?” He zoned out. He looked blankly forward, not responding. I got a little nervous. The other kids were telling him to give it back to “Mr. Jones”. I said, “Do you want me to help you?” He shook his head ‘no’. He held that thing for a full minute. I crouched down and said, “What’s the right thing to do?” He turned his head away from me and with the most tortured, frowning look I’ve ever seen on a four-year-old face, he handed the piece of paper to “Mr. Jones”, who absently took it and said, “thank you”. He didn't respond.

Two of the next set of helpers were instructed to “play outside”. As I leaned down to whisper some instructions to the third helper, I realized everyone was laughing. I looked over and saw the two helpers doing some kind of weird jig. This, apparently, is how they “play outside.”

It was awesome. If you weren’t there, you totally missed out.

Can you stand it???

2008-11-20T15:45:00.000-08:00

One down. How many to go?

2008-11-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

Yay! I finished this one. I'll be honest, I don't totally love it. I wish I had time to redo the face again. BUT- I don't.

So here he is.

Oh, and BTW, the computer is dead, deceased, defunct. The hard drive is still ok, though.

Adios, Mater. Lynn, come pick this sucker up.

In progress. (No eyeballs, mouth #1)

Haha- note the abundant candy wrappers...

All done.

Sophie's rocks.

2008-11-17T19:45:00.000-08:00

The other night, we were driving past the gravel pit and I said, "What would you say if I said, 'I'm going to sell you a bunch of rocks?'" R just looked at me funny. I said, "That's the problem with me. I'm self-defeating. I'd say, 'Oh, yeah, right. Who's going to buy rocks?'"

It reminded me of my BFF's neighbor kid, who showed up at her doorstep one day. She rang the bell and when my friend answered, she said with a sigh, "All right. Do you want to buy regular rocks or magic rocks?" and she opened her little hands to reveal... a bunch of rocks.

My friend asked what the magic rocks did. Sophie said, "I don't even know. Are you going to buy them or not?"

She said, "Not today."

But you have to give the kid credit. She's a born marketer.

Confessional: My Projects.

2008-11-11T12:38:00.001-08:00

You might someday catch me absorbed in a project, covered with (choose some) sawdust/ dirt/ paint/ glue/ mud, and when I try to explain to you what I’m doing, it comes out sounding like “well, I'm fudzlqjjok” or some other new word that I have made up to explain what I’m up to. My house is a disaster. My kids have most likely been eating instafood and have probably left the wrappers everywhere. My hair is inevitably pulled back into a clip or a ponytail and I’m starving. It might be 11 o’clock at night. Maybe the sound of my tile saw breaking the noise ordinance is what brought you over in the first place.

Blah, blah, blah. The point is, I’m a project junkie. And I finish them, most of the time. Some are so big I wonder if I’m in over my head. Like our SSL house. We gutted it and spent 5 years putting it back together. (That one paid off.)

Some are small- like the dolls the kids are holding in this pic. These are the dolls they give kids at Primary Children’s Hospital to help them be less afraid of the procedures they have to have. A kid picks a doll and then puts a face on it. Then, the kid gets to have the procedure done on the doll first. So, one of these dolls could likely get an IV or sutures. Anyway, it was an easy service project and covered a couple of family night lessons. And my kids learned to sew a little. Project completed.

Some should be small, but aren't for me. Like keeping my new plant from Simoun alive.

It's been alive a month. So far, so good. I'm also trying to resuscitate a bamboo plant and one from the office. None are dead yet. (This is unusual for me.)

Here is an unfinished project.

L’s room had the world’s UGLIEST paneling. It was extraordinarily durable, however, and I figured I needed something to occupy my restless head, so I decided to mural her bedroom. It’s overdone in places, but it’s not finished in one corner, and it BUGS me so bad. I have recently dug out my paints to work on this toybox for a friend, so it could have as high as a 40 percent chance of being finished before the end of the year. (FYI, the glowy stuff in the picture is not ectoplasm. It's silver spray paint. It takes a while to settle.)

Here’s another finished project.

I have transformed my “exploding closet” into a well-managed space. Wait a year. It will probably be exploding again because of its centralized location.

I have previously blogged about the backyard. In truth, I’m not the one pouring the hours into this. That’s R. He’s taking it on between rainstorms. I’m a little worried about this one. It got huge fast.

And here's the yuckiest one. This is the basement bathroom. The plumbing was um, let's say, "improperly installed." That means that when the clothes washer drained, it created a fountain in the (previously existing) shower. We had to jackhammer out the cement. Now it's just gross. Hey-It's an excuse to remodel it. A really, really good one.

So, just when I feel like I've hit my project quota, something new and awful will happen. This week, my computer ceased functioning. It's either the power switch or the motherboard. If it's the switch, I'll have it fixed in ten (available) minutes. If it's the motherboard, I'll just get a new computer.

Projects are my curse and my salvation. I cannot be bored. I abhor boredom. Actually, these days, I'm so tired I just fall asleep if I get bored. So I'm not bored very often.

Ok. The real reason I posted these embarrassing project pictures is so that I'll finish them and post my finished products. It's already working. I'm going to find my soldering iron and replace that power switch right now.

Blogger slacker plays catch-up.

2008-10-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

Holy COW! I have been crazy busy. No time for blogging. So here's the rundown:

Jamie left. :(

Alli's boys and mine had a wild rumpus in the backyard. No one was hurt. :)

We partied at Amy's and stayed up like we were 18. (We're not.) zzzzzZZZZ

The backyard was further excavated.

Halloween costumes were started, and Gr. Wendy showed up with ADORABLE shirts!!!

Did Richabeth's and friend's 60's makeup for their Sadie's...

We partied at Alli's. Stayed up much less late.

Attended delightful wedding shower(s) for Kim! Congratulations, lady!!!

Had B's family B-day party. Congrats, B. We love you!!!

Went and checked out three AMAZINGLY well decorated halloween houses.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a hundred things. I'll remember them when I'm not so tired.

Happy Halloween!!! see pics at http://community.webshots.com/user/greatbeally

Note to self.

2008-10-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce you to myself, only a relaxed, casual version.

Meet Rachel, who finally took a day off.

Me, who loves her job, loves work, can’t stand to be bored, and invents things to keep her occupied.

At eight o’clock, (not ten), I was in the hot tub, (which is mostly fixed). Crepes were cooked and eaten by ten thirty. They were good, too, with fruit and chocolate syrup and grenadine. Such a good breakfast to start a fabulous day off on.

When I left Wednesday, it felt like Friday. People looked all funny when I said “Have a good weekend!”

In all honesty, I took the “time off” to do construction in my backyard. But it snowed, then it got hot again, so I’ll probably be working. Good thing there’s a running hot tub on my porch.

Relax, Rachel, Please?

Bessie Elizabeth's house...

2008-10-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

I love Bessie. I was thinking about my grandma, honest to a fault. I loved how she might tell me what I want, but only when it was true. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell you the truth, either, like 'you’re being lazy', 'you need a bath- get naked and get in the bathtub'. 'It’s an excellent bathtub'. 'That’s not a slide. You’re going to get hurt'. In her kitchen, she would force feed you and make sure that the butter and jam went all the way to the crust. My memory revives sleeping at her house in the bed, twin size, swaddled in layers of thin blankets and kicking them off every night. Utah summers were hot until midnight when the canyons dumped the night air out and into the huge windows. Oh, and I missed digging through her house and discovering all the weird, amazing things I found, like the portable planetarium. I’d want to take it all home, and sometimes I actually could. Sometimes I had to leave it, stuck in a closet until we’d travel back across the country again to the place I always felt was really home. The drive was always worth the pain, even with our entire family in a van for seventeen, or worse, twenty three hours (from Pittsburgh) driving halfway across our known world, past all the wonders of Kansas, over the mountains to pull into the driveway that smelled of fitzers and had the tree with the sticky leaves. That tree was so awesome- you could climb forty feet up and not even sway on the branches, because it was so stout. Then we’d invade their oily smelling garage and I would blaze the driveway on the Big Wheel. Still amazing I never got hit by a car on that one. So I love her, and her house. So would you.

There's a bobcat in my backyard...

2008-10-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

...and it's making a huge muddy mess. I am really happy about it.

People let me draw on their faces!!!

2008-10-08T22:12:00.001-07:00

Check out the fun-loving, (trusting) people!

Thanks, guys! I think I had more fun than you did.

Be careful what you ask...

2008-10-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

From: David
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 12:08 PM
To: Rachel
Subject: Car for Sale

FW to: Bruce:

Mike's sister has a 2000 Mazda Miata (sp) that she wants to sell. It only has 13,000 miles on it and is in pristine condition. She is asking $11,000.00 The low book on this is probably closer to $12 or 13K. If anyone is interested, please let me know ASAP. Otherwise, Mike will put it on his lot or sell through e-bay. Please let me know.

From: Bruce
Sent: Friday, October 03, 2008 3:04 PM
To: Rachel
Subject: Re: FW: Car for Sale

Older Miatas are putt-putt cars. I drove one recently and thought it was a nice car, but it was gutless. I don't know anyone who would want one. I don't think John would want it, but we should ask him. It would be about as practical as my Lotus, but with no performance to boot.

Dad O.

On Mon, Oct 6, 2008 at 9:37 AM, Rachel wrote:

I can work around impractical, but gutless is unforgivable.

The search goes on. I had NO idea I was so picky about cars.

From: Bruce
Sent: Monday, October 06, 2008 9:39 AM

To: Rachel

Subject: Re: FW: Car for Sale

Go and drive it and see if it isn't better than the last one I drove. It would be a fun car if it had any pep.

Dad O.

On Mon, Oct 6, 2008 at 9:50 AM, Rachel wrote:

Yeah, but it's just a Miata.

I followed a Cobalt to work. They're really no-frills-looking.

From: Bruce
Sent: Monday, October 06, 2008 10:04 AM

To: Rachel
Subject: Re: FW: Car for Sale

The Cobalt has suddenly been selling very well because gas prices shot up. They are built in Ohio, but the engine factory is in NY near Niagra Falls. I read this morning in the WSJ (where else?) that GM will be building a new engine factory somewhere to alleviate the engine shortage for Cobalts. They're going to round-the-clock production in Ohio, but need more engines. I don't know where the Ecotec 2-liter engine in the SS that was designed at Lotus is built. The Cobalt comes with a 2.4 liter Ecotec (non-turbochared) normally. I'm sure it's made in NY. The smaller but much more powerful engine probably comes out of that factory,too. The Road and Track guys were "shocked" by the SS version because it's such an ordinary looking car. They called it a "sleeper." That's a term that means a car that is very pedestrian and plain, but surprises everyone because the owner put a big engine and transmission in it. The GTO is a sleeper. It looks like a Chevy Cavalier, but goes like a Corvette. So is the Cobalt SS.

Even though the SS is the performance bargain of the times, it's still $23,000 in cost. Not cheap for an econo car. I saw a red 2006 down at Murdock Chevrolet, but it's a 2-door, has much less go, and doesn't handle anything like the new one. They wanted about $16000 for it, but I know they'd be happy to unload it, provided it's still there.

Dad O.

On Mon, Oct 6, 2008 at 9:21 AM, Rachel wrote:

I love your GTO. We should really go test-drive a Cobalt. You did say that they were putting the same engine in a new Saturn, didn't you?

From: Bruce

Sent: Monday, October 06, 2008 11:30 AM
To: Rachel
Subject: Re: FW: Car for Sale

The turbocharged 2-liter Ecotec engine is available in the Pontiac Solstice GXP, the Saturn Sky Red Line, the Opel GT (identical to Saturn Sky Red Line, Europe only) the HHR SS, and in the Cobalt SS. Even though Pontiac sells a Cobalt by the name of G5, it doesn't come with that better engine. I think that engine is available in a few other cars in Europe. It may have been sold in the Lotus Europa, but it didn't have as much power and torque. You can pay some guys to put it in an Elise and it increases hp from 190 to 263 and torque from 135 lb-ft to 260 (?). It costs $19000 to do it and only adds 4 lbs to the weight. What a screamer! Maybe we could go this evening after Family Night. Tomorrow evening I have a city meeting to attend. Wednesday evening I could go, too. We must take John, too. Robb could come if Mom or Richard would watch the kids. In early November, I will have a total of about $1200 in credits toward a GM car.

I remember how you smiled at the spunkiness of the Neon when you test drove it and chirped the tires after upshifting to 2nd gear. The Cobalt SS will knock your stockings off. The one weakness is that it's front-wheel drive so it tends to have trouble in 1st gear trying to get the power down. It spins tires easily in low gears, so the limited slip differential option is a must buy.

Dad O.

LOVE YOU, DAD!

October might be my favorite month...

2008-10-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

Because the decorations are so fun. This candy bucket freaked me out only AFTER the kids augmented it with q-tips. I really love halloween. It's all about candy and dressups and spooky, silly stuff. SO fun.

The kids haven't yet decided on what to be.

And it usually rains in October. And General Conference happens. It's so calming to listen to conference and watch the rain dripping off my gramma trees.

Still, I hate saying 'see ya next year' to my garden and the heirloom roses.

It's a small consolation that the grapes are ripe and the smell fills the house when R steams out the juice. (He took over this project ages ago.) It smells like grape bubble gum.

Ooo! Cute car!!! I think I could stand driving that...

2008-09-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

Confession: I want a new car. I want a car that matches my mental age, my wished-for image and my need for speed. And a car that will actually do what I want, in the exact moment I decide to do it.

Confession: I have spent the last couple of weeks intentionally noticing the cars around me, sizing them up. I have found a few that I might settle for, but I am stunned by how few cars would reflect my personality. (Don't EVEN take that bait.)

Confession: This morning, I saw one. I LOVED it. It was mulberry colored, classy, sexy, well-formed and loaded with attitude. It zipped past me in the intersection, followed closely by a monster SUV that obliterated it's insignias. "I simply must know what it is." I silently vowed. Luckily for me, it was stopped at the red light just over and in front of me. When I saw what it was, I laughed out loud. Of course, she looks far better in mulberry.

Isn't she lovely? Now, where is that fairy godmother???

TeresaTag.

2008-09-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

Google It!! - I've been tagged...Teresa tagged me.

You (image) google your answer for each topic. Pick the picture you like the best off the first 3 pages.

1. Your First Name

rachel- Did you even KNOW so many people with my name pose online in their undies??? Holy cow.

2. Your middle name

LOBHADH NAN CAS= footrot. ewwww.

3. Your Last Name

Beall

4. Your Bad Habit

Dieting

5. What are you doing right now?

Decompressing...

6. Your Grandma's name

Ila

7. A Past Pet

Sherman.

8. Your First Job

Dietary Aide

9. Your Age

Guess.

10. Where you grew up

Bethel Park

11. A Past love

Heehee, guess.

12. Your Best Friends Nickname

So many...

13. One of my Favorite Places to be.

BCC, Baby.

14. If I went back to school, I would become:

Mega rich

15. A Place I would love to visit.

Petra

16. Favorite Color

Burgundy

17. Favorite Food

So there you have it. This really was fun if you have a hour to devote to googling.

I Tag: Sally, Sherrelyn and Karisa

Gossip and other evils.

2008-09-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

Kristy provided me with this lovely little graphic. She got it from Kat, I think. It makes me happy.

I have a little problem. My mouth goes off sometimes before I realized I didn't want to say what I just said. Luckily, I'm not inherently mean, because that would be really, really awful. But I really need to work on this- my current progress is, well, it's like losing five pounds when you need to lose 15. Every little bit helps, and I don't have unrealistic expectations. But seriously, sometimes I should just keep it all a little closer to my vest.

Another symptom is, most often, I tell on myself. I reveal ridiculous things to people I trust innately. This, by the way, is not smart. Things that if I was smarter, I wouldn't ever let slip past my lips. Things like, "Oh, the last bad thing I did? Haha, it was (wouldn't you love to know?)" But later, I realize that because most people aren't this honest, it makes me look like a slacker/loser/idiot. I'm lucky, because I have a special group of people who I believe God put here just to be able to stand me. They are the ones that laugh with me when I admit I either a) ate the WHOLE bag of candy or b) forgot to eat altogether. They laugh AT me when I paint my door red, tear up my backyard, jackhammer up my basement, or try to clean my house. You know who you are. And you know that out of the blue, I might turn around and tell you something so completely out there, you'll question my sanity.

So to those of you who made this list, thanks for being supportive, even though I'm grossly imperfect. I need you.

Meaningful Places

2008-09-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning up some photo albums and found these pictures. Every one of these pictures give me pangs of nostalgia- some more than others, of course. So hey-enjoy the pangs with me.

Thursdays.

2008-09-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

If there's a day in the week that has no personality, I would say it's Thursday. Excepting the fact that some jerk from high school always insinuated that Thursday was his day for altering his gender preference, (a la "Hmm. But it's THURSDAY...") it has no real significance. FOR example, last night, was pretty uneventful. It was so uneventful that I watched the movie I borrowed from a good friend.

It was Xanadu. Yes. I know.

I hadn't ever seen it.

But now I have. And I understand the eighties so much better now. I couldn't fathom some of the um, fashions that lived and died (and are being *gulp* resurrected ?!?) at the time, for instance, putting plastic coverings (remember jellies?) on a creature that is approximately 70%water... and OHmygosh- I've never seen SO much spandex on one roll of film. The most shocking part was the choreography- I watched some of the newer music videos recently. Guess what? There are no new moves. It's like the Barenaked Ladies said: IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE. Just not with so much orange/leopard print/zebra pattern/bad acting. It's like a smorgasbord of gaucheness. Amazingly flexible, roller-skating gaucheness.

Conclusion: Xanadu has the potential to undo Thursday's generic nature.

Um, let's call this... Ambition.

2008-09-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, my backyard is a mess. It has been because I don't have the time to spend on it so much. I want more concrete so I can spread things out. I mean honestly- we have so much great stuff. Like the pottery wheel and the hot tub and the grills and grandma's old chairs that are SO comfortable and the table I made with the kids and the chimneas and... (instead of dealing with a packrat problem), we're just adding more concrete. The big problem was that the backyard is pretty fortressed when it comes to getting heavy equipment back there. R found a digger that was supposed to fit through a 35 in gap, but GUESS WHAT?!?! It didn't. Turns out 39 is the minimum, SO we'll just be removing that cinderblock wall after all. Which is fine, because it sort of got dislocated. And now that it's dislocated, we can get a bobcat back there and get er done.

yay.

In the meantime, we dug down a bit on the side of the house. It was fun.

Still have a lot to do... We need a bobcat. Can't wait to drive it. :)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2008-08-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

Me with SERIOUSLY windblown hair.

Me, feeling quite lake-y, hiding out on the roof.

Blue collared lizard. Sorry it's blurry.

"Roughing it"??? Hardly.

Me & S chatting.

Ah, Lake Powell. Sun, sand, water and sandstone in endless quantities.

The reason I have 6754 more freckles.

The vacation that can leave you wondering, "how did sand get in... there?"

How many people DO actually fit comfortably on a houseboat?

How do you untangle THAT?

_________________________________

I have to hand it to the houseboat designers. Leaving the top deck mostly unobstructed was brilliant. It provides a perfect playground for the kids to invent ALL SORTS of games. Adding 8 weatherproof cushions prevents the games from turning bloody. And we get simulated thunder for 2-3 hours each night without any of the messy lightning or anchor-checking. Miraculously, we had no injuries bigger than some scrapes and bruises.

We stayed in Bullfrog bay. It was perfect weather all week, right down to the cloud cover on the day we pushed our little overstuffed handcarts back to the cars, which is usually a contest to see who can get the most red and dehydrated. (I think the other R claimed the award for that this year.)

Our entourage sported 1 sailboat(Thank you, Thank you, JM!!), 2 kayaks and 3 sea.doos, all of

which were functional and super fun.

I especially loved the sailboat. Frankly, prolonged engine revv a la 65 mph on a sea.doo gets annoying. Don't get me wrong- I needed a couple of speed rushes, and the sea.doos more than cut it on a glassy lake, but slipping quietly through the water messing about with aerodynamics is abundantly calming and fun. I have resolved to do more of it.

_______________________________

I earned myself a buddy this time around. S adopted me, (I can't for the life of me understand why) and taunted L at every possible chance. It went like this:

S looks at L. S looks at me. "I want sit on you lap."

Me: "Ok."

L glares/rolls eyes/frowns.

S smiles.

S gets off my lap and takes two steps away. L moves toward me to reclaim her mom. S darts back in and repeats process.

I try to mediate. "I'm fat enough for you two to share."

L cooperates; S shoves her away.

Me: "S, be nice. Actually, go play. I'm going upstairs." L rolls eyes again. I hug L to make sure she knows she's loved. She's fine.

S follows me for the next several days.

_____________________________

RB found a slot canyon near Halls. We explored it as far as the kids could go. We spent a chunk of time anchoring three sea.doos with a ski rope, another rope, and... rocks. Knot skills came in handy that day. The canyon was nice. One freaky black keeper pothole, lost of green mucky pools. Lizards, frogs, toads, and bugs. Oh, and weird earwax-looking stuff growing out of the seeping rocks. Definitely worth seeing.

____________________________

On our last day in the marina, we met two lovely neighbors. At first, they were 11 and 12. Then we learned from their dad that they were 9 and 10. (Times are changing. I didn't try that stunt until I was um, 14 or so? ) But they were great. They entertained the boys endlessly. Since we were in the marina for the night, they came over and watched a DVD with the kids. When they left, M was snoring, L was out, and the rest of them were getting there.

______________________________

We watched the moonrise one night. I fought sleep, keeping one eye on the very very slowly increasing light over the rim of the cliff. When the moon actually appeared, it was too bright to look at, and since it rose really fast when it finally got there, I was squinting in the dark for quite a while. Still, it was beautiful. Perfectly silver on the water.

______________________________

Note to self for future trips: More eggs, more fruit, more sleep. Less general stuff, less licorice, less clothing. (packed, not worn.)

I have hundreds of pictures. Maybe I'll upload em later, or elsewhere.

Thank you, Steph!

2008-08-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

Can't stop laughing. This seriously hurts my teeth- it's worse than chewing on tin foil.
TRY IT!!
http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/

I had it comin'...

2008-08-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

So, the other day, I did my nails. It's been a while, so I went all-out. Blow up the picture. They were chrome with black abstract designs. So cool.

Apparently, however, my manicures signal the cosmic forces to converge upon me. I was blissfully unaware and further tempted fate by wearing these adorable (EVIL, EVIL!! Soon to be retired.) shoes.

"But they're not evil! They're cute!" You say, to which I respond: "Wait. This is the back of my car." And you start thinking I've lost it altogether.

"Why," you ponder, "does your car look... mangled?" I reply, "The kids broke the back door after slamming the lock down 4,327,255 times. We pulled the panel off to try and fix it."

"What," you persist, "does that have to do with shoes and fingernails?"

I thought you'd never ask.

"Dangit. I shouldn't have tried to wear these shoes today", I thought. I tossed them in the car, wincing at the sticky pain that erupted when the blisters hit the air. I climbed in and started to pull out of the lot. Something felt wrong with the car- mushy like.

"Oh, NUH-uh. Not today." I hollered out. "The nails- the shoes, the white shirt, silk pants... Not the right combo for this."

Sure enough, I got out of the car and saw the saddest, flattest, most cracked, wheezing tire ever.

My first thought was, "How embarrassing. I have to change this sucker in bare feet." I called R, thinking I might foist this issue off on him.

He responded as fast as he could, but upon hanging up, I realized it was nearly five o'clock. People would be driving through the parking lot, right past me. I was mortified. (I KNOW I'm weird. Shut it.)

I pulled the car backward into a slot and optimistically walked around to the back to open the door. It was broken, remember? I climbed back through the car and pushed the little screw into the broken thing and hoped it would hold. It didn't. I tried it again and got the door open. So picture this. Me, changing a tire, sitting cross-legged on the ground on the top floor of the parking garage with about 17 floors of windows glaring down at me, barefoot. Awesome, huh? I was deliciously surprised to find that none of the lug nuts were stuck and it went pretty smoothly. The lovely engineers who designed my car even delineated the exact spot where you're supposed to put the jack. I pulled off the tire, noticing that it was remarkably bad... and when I reached around to pull the sucker off, Sharp needle things poked my hands.

See the lovely lacy cracking around the ENTIRE rim? That's leaky stuff.

Ooo. Look at the shiny, glittery inside!! (that hurt.) I tried to put the dummy tire on backward. I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone saw me do that, but I was safe. Whew. After I finished, I called R back and said, "I'm done. See you at the house." He said, "Can you still go and pick up that thing we needed?" I said, "Nope. Driving on a dummy tire is bad enough, but the other tire is probably just about to blow too-" So I went home.

And I washed my hands.

And I mourned my manicure. And then we packed up and went to Costco for new tires. Shopping has NEVER been so un-fun. But the car drives SO much better now.

I added a new "pay attention to..." to my list. We have gas, oil, washer fluid, blinker fluid, (haha) brakes, radiator fluid, steering fluid, brake fluid, registration, insurance, battery and now tires. This thing needs as much attention as a 95 year-old brittle diabetic with dementia, food allergies and congestive heart failure. Ok, maybe not that much.

But it needs a lot.

Sunday morning, big hair.

2008-08-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

I openly confess that I'm a hair product junkie. I don't use a lot of hair products. 90 percent of the time, there's nothing in my hair. No hairspray, nothin. But Kmart had all their pantene stuff on clearance yesterday. And I keep it around for special occasions, and for doing other people's hair, (which happens to be quite a lot lately) and because most of that stuff smells REALLY good.

So I wake up thinking, come on, self, let's do your hair today. It's Sunday, you have to substitute for the chorister in Sacrament mtg. You should do your hair. So I set it in hot rollers. Then I sprayed it with my fun new hairspray and shook out the curls.

It went huge. HUGE. Like three times the size of my head.

I was freaking out. I started to pull out the curl and fight the beast. This is the best I could do- and believe me- the camera doesn't do it justice. It was BAD. 3-D frizz detectable by satellite, baby. Don't I look happy about it?
(Oh- see my cute new swimsuit back there?)

Just before I completely panicked and resorted to the all-purpose-bad-hair-fix (a la chignon), I remembered that in the olden days when I used hairspray regularly, too much would actually flatten out my hair. So, I pulled it straight and sprayed it again, and voila! It smoothed out a lot. Whew. Aren't you glad you wasted 60 seconds reading this? Have a lovely sabbath.

Click here to donate to Rachel's hair product fund. (Haha. Like I'd do that. Puhleez.)

Ms. Ellaneous.

2008-08-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

More randomness from Rachel:

I put in a new ceiling fan in L's room. FINALLY!! it's so much better. The other one was bladeless due to a pillow fight mishap, and it stayed that way for a couple of years, until...

NOW! That's better, isn't it? (She had to stick the butterflies on. It had to match the rest of the room.)

I can also entertain myself because I happened to have my camera while stuck in mega traffic. My normal 12 minute commute took just a little under TWO HOURS. Awesome. I don't think that even equates to mph. It really should have been feet per hour. I could have walked faster. Oh, and I washed my car soon after this. SO dirty. How embarrassing.

And this is what 34000 pounds of C4 looks like blowing up. No, silly. I didn't do it!! (Thanks, R, for sharing this photo.)

Favorite comfy shorts motif:

Hey, Did you know you can buy fake cows and farm women to give your yard that "rural" feel?

Finally. A truly ergonomic way to reattach that muffler.

I wish I could catch ALL the amazing things I see in pixels. But I can't. So this must suffice until I feel like writing more stuff.

An Amazing Way to Introduce Yourself:

2008-07-25T18:39:00.000-07:00

So I was having book club (Shut UP. I know we never read the book.) and as the sun was sinking behind the trees, there was a knock on the door. I opened it, and a kid, about ten years old, stood there and said,
"Hey, you know that kid um, that had problems across the street?"
"Huh?" I replied intelligently. I thought for a minute.
"Uh, and he had to call the cops and they came over to his house?"
"OH! Yeah. I remember him... What happened to him? Is something wrong?"
I felt a knot forming in my gut...
"Well, I'm back."
That one took a minute to process.

Hey, Kids! Grab the sledgehammers!

2008-07-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I started getting all claustrophobic in all the clutter. The kids and I dragged the old, battered, beloved couch out of the basement and tossed it on the driveway. Then they took it apart.

I remember my brothers doing this with an old yellow couch. At the time, I thought it was despicable. But then, I was a teenager, and I was all about disapproving of their actions. Still, they tried to burn it, if I remember right. Scary, a little.

The basement looks so much more open. No one is getting cut by nails sticking out of the couch in weird places.

Robb still hasn't seen it.

It was fun. We let the neighbor kids enjoy a little controlled destruction, too. I pray that they all realize this is a one-time thing and don't try it at home.

Another marathon weekend...

2008-07-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

OK. Here's a riddle. What do mosquitos, Harry Potter, 1776, antique photos, clay, Lotus, cabinets, HUGE sheets of glass, a Jaguar, swimming (of course), a tortuous weight routine, fingernail/toenail polish, hot peppers, a sailing manual and a most excellent playlist have in common? A: Me, this weekend, in rapid succession. No wonder I get to work on Monday with a sigh of relief. And it's only Saturday.

If you want to subject yourself to a brief explanation, read on:

Friday night, I threw pots until dark (I actually kept one of them) and drowned out the chaos with my newest, most awesome playlist. Free advice? You can't keep earbuds in while throwing pottery. Just start with the outdoor speakers. Then we set up the projector in the backyard and watched Harry Potter 5 with the kids. It went like this: "Sit down you guys." "No more candy." "Why are you going inside?" "Sit down." "Be quiet." "Stop talking and watch the movie." "Eat the candy you already have." "Sit down and stop talking." and on, and on, for the substantial length of the movie. Then the most exquisite full moon rose and the movie ended right at midnight. We took Spud home and went to bed, but not before noticing that I had been a mosquito smorgasbord. I read 3 pages of 1776 and conked out. This (Saturday) morning, I woke up, went up to mom's for our weekly workout/torture (ca suffit, eh, John?) where I got all disgusted with myself for not finishing the last few reps of the falling (girl) push-ups. After, mom showed me the impressive pile of genealogical photos she had been given to try and identify (Honestly, I was utterly absorbed. I don't care if you think I'm geeky.) and then dad let me take his baby out for a spin. I took all three kids around the neighborhood, and the people at the "beat the pros" event at the golf course got to see me in my post-workout gorgeousness (a-hem) zooming by at least three times in this... only we didn't need helmets at our modest (a-hem) residential speed.

THEN, I convinced my charitable brother to help me get some huge sheets of glass and cabinets from the old office. He brought the Jag down. It was a good thing. Did you know that you can stuff a huge cabinet in the trunk of a Jaguar? Unlike the Elise, you can fit amazing amounts of stuff in that thing. See footnote A. Robb graciously hauled them out of the cars with John so that I didn't have to. He spent the day cleaning out the garage.

It was HOT. I ate pizza with not-so-mild anaheim peppers (SO good!) and jumped in the pool to cool off. While I was drying, I redid my fingernails and toenails, again enjoying the sun and my favorite new playlist, and then went in and skimmed through some sailing basics, and fell asleep. Sort of. As asleep as you can get with three boys trying to out-scream each other 50 feet away. I got up, cleaned up the back porch, got bit by probably the same mosquitos as last night, and now, here I am, subjecting you to this fabulously boring story.

Footnote A

While tying up the cabinet in the trunk of the jag, I came across this little gem. They not only give you a handy way to escape from the hot-tub-sized trunk, but they even draw you a picture of what you should do when you're free. (Hit the ground running.) How cool is that?!?

R.S. Craftiness...

2008-07-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

...that I did independently of any "enrichment night", "super Saturday", scrapbooking group or any other sisterly type meeting. I just felt like it. And what else are you sposta do with 31 keys?

More ridiculous shoes...

2008-07-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

Since the last one went over so smashingly, I made a sequel. Luckily, I may never run out of ridiculous shoes to write about. I have so many. :)

These white ones truly, TRULY are ridiculous. They HURT. That's probably why you've only seen them here.

These are more silly than ridiculous. High heeled flip-flops? Barbie pink?

These ones I Love. But then I love almost anything that is black and lace-up.
Oh, and look- you can see all my scars in this one. (Dang it.)

1940s glam... In my favorite color.

Ridiculous boot wannabees. These are actually comfortable. BONUS.

I had to have SOMETHING with bows and diamonds. Black and silver satin with a fakie 4 carat in the bow. Can you STAND it?

Pink leather flowers on a stacked wood heel. It's like- flower child smacks into the 1980s. So much fun.

Merry Christmas to me, every time I wear em. (note: They look much better with RED nail polish.)

How can you resist shiny pink shoes??? Even the kids in nursery (I subbed in nursery on my birthday!) were playing with em. No, no one got hurt. Yes, those are solid metal heels. Amazing, huh?

All right, ladies, bring on the wisecracks.

hey! HEY! Itsa my Birf-day!

2008-07-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

On my birfday, L did a little dance for me...

And I wore non-ridiculous shoes (and shaved my legs, thank goodness!!!)

The moms came to see me...

And I got a visit from the birthday fairy...

And the boys did a little... um... fashion show...

And because it was MY birthday, we did fireworks...

And I got to hang with my very special brothers. And Christine.

The whole neighborhood loves me.

The moms chatted.

We tried to understand them.

The dads talked, too. We ignored them.

I simply HAD to wear the tiara. My kids were forgetting that it was my birthday and they had to do everything I said. The tiara helped. Specially with the pirate skull on it.

And V10 juggled for me!

And we had a freaky shoe show.

And I turned... never mind. Count the candles on the Key lime pie.
OH, and I almost forgot...
I got breakfast in bed. Peanut butter captain crunch, baby!!!

Just realized I was TAGGED by Teresa

2008-07-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

How To Play This Game of Tag: Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself. Tag 3 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

Joys:

My amazing kids

Learning stuff

Excellent friends

Fears:

Being an insufficient mom

Becoming lazy

Getting addicted to candy

Goals

Survive parenthood

travel the planet

buy a sailboat and learn to use it

Obsessions

writing

Self-analysis

Growing herbs and other edible thingys

Random or surprising facts about me

I wore glasses until I was 10, then I grew out of them.

I bandaged a sore toe that happened to be attached to "Wesley" (Cary Elwes) from the movie "The Princess Bride". Poor guy.

I can feel it when lightning is about to strike... I swear. Ask Karen and Melissa.

I TAG:

Alli

Kristy

Karisa

HOT! HOT!! HOT!!! 4th of July

2008-07-04T14:38:00.001-07:00

Ok. It wasn't that hot. It was hot yesterday when we decorated all the kids (Well, the ones that were still in town) and their bikes for this morning's (7:30!!! Who's idea was THAT?) annual bike parade and ward breakfast. It's a good thing that B could find his scout shirt and Spud was willing to duck out of the flag ceremony by loaning his shirt to W, or we would have had a very understaffed ritual. Their sole chore today was to hang up their ENTIRE uniform in one place. We stopped losing scarves for a while after I sewed them directly to the shirts, but keeping track of all the little parts has proved impossible.

Actually, the weather was perfect, the food was exceptional and the company was heavenly. What a great tradition. AND we're done with it all by 10 am. Happy Independence Day!!!

Let's play hidden pictures! Can you find:

1. The broken fork

2. The helmet-enhanced red-white-and-blue ponytails

3. The kid with one sock

4. The kid with the helmet on backwards

5. The blur that is my oldest child

6. The fireman

7. The red beret

8. Mardi Gras beads

9. Half of my husband

10. Scout socks sans uniform

Good luck! Let me know if you find em all!

As a post script, we spent the evening out in Sandy with family and had our own "Stadium of snakes and sparklers " in their backyard. What a show! The best part was R's 11 yr old nephew perfoming a strange little dance with a handheld fountain and scaring himself by practically shooting his own feet with it. It's only funny because he didn't get hurt, but I may never forget the sound of his yelp. I've never had such a sedate fourth.

On the way home, no fewer than three series of firetrucks blazed past. I'm just happy to say that we had nothing to do with whatever they were heading to. L complained that the drive home was SOOO long. I think I've spoiled her...

The Year of RIDICULOUS Shoes... part 1

2008-07-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

I can't really help it. Crazy shoes are the one thing I can still get away with. So this year, upon a most magnificent discovery of some killer deals on ridiculous shoes, I realized this mini-obsession merited an annual theme. 2008 is therefore known henceforth as "the Year of Ridiculous Shoes". I must say I have done an admirable job of wearing shoes appropriate to this theme.

Now, lest I offend some darling co-worker, I must explain that what I consider a ridiculous shoe is somewhat qualified. I consider any shoe that can't hold it's own on a 6 mile hike, well, ridiculous. I also realize that this is pretty exclusive- I didn't even include my beloved flipflops in this category, but I'm a function before form person, I guess. Form might be gaining ground this year. Nonetheless, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my shoes are ridiculous.

For example, six-inch red suede platform pumps are most definitely ridiculous. I absolutely love them. And yes, I CAN walk in them. NO, they don't hurt more than any other shoes.

These strappy little things get a lot of use. That's probably because they go with all my brown clothes. They zip up in the back. Can you STAND it?

Who can resist tartan? Had to have em.

And the Minnie Mouse shoes- come ON! Need I say more? It's like walking around in Disneyland. (Both actually get old.)

I wore these black and chrome ones to work. KT promtply informed me that they were "stripper shoes". I resolved to wear them around her as often as possible. Thanks, KT.

Mostly because I'm sick of having to take pictures of my feet, this is the end of part 1. A sequel may appear when I run out of blog topics again.

Things I learned this week:

2008-06-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Falling asleep in the pool is a bad idea. Thank goodness for sunscreen.

Ants really do bite.

Leaving a swamp cooler on all night can simulate a Pittsburgh winter.
Children do not like sunblock and will PRETEND they put it on.
Like Las Vegas, I never seem to sleep. (unless I'm in the pool)
I hate getting up at six. Summer should be all about late nights, not early mornings.
I get more done between 7 and 9 than the entire rest of the day.

"Hoc" is latin for "this". (Don't I just LOOK tired?)

I actually don't have time to exercise. I'm too busy sleeping in the pool.

Nightmares can wake you up at 4 a.m. and keep you up 'til you have to go to work, which leads to falling asleep in a pool the next day.
You should NEVER set an obnoxious, startling alarm on your phone to alert you to your father-in-law's birthday. It can wake you up at 2 a.m. and thus cause you to fall asleep in a pool the next day.
Some children will quietly leave a pool that contains a sleeping adult.

My garage has a remarkable amount of junk in it.

My children have spent several hours in the garage 'treasure hunting' this week.

My house now has a remarkable amount of junk in it.

It is twice as hard to remove junk from a house than to accumulate it.

Sometimes friends just up and move to Taiwan.

That feeling of impending doom might just have something to do with taxes.
The sun operates on a "play now, pay later" plan. Ouch. This guy has it worse than me... And that makes me feel a little better.

Summer tastes like....

2008-06-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

Strawberries!!!

and it sounds like boy scouts.

and it looks like the Great Salt Lake.

And it feels 67586947620215963 times better than winter!~!

Cub Scout camp

2008-06-18T18:17:00.001-07:00

For those of you who think I just slept in and didn't want to go to work,
http://teresaanddarinjolley.blogspot.com/2008/06/boy-scout-camp-day-1.html
For those of you who just want to see me looking goofy,
http://teresaanddarinjolley.blogspot.com/2008/06/boy-scout-camp-day-1.html
and For those of you who want to see more pictures of my most wonderful scouts,
http://teresaanddarinjolley.blogspot.com/2008/06/boy-scout-camp-day-1.html
Thanks, Teresa, for doing all the hard work!

Summer Survival Guide

2008-06-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

My dad came by tonight and I asked him, "Do you like my energy containment system?" He looked around the backyard, puzzled. I gestured to the pool, in which no fewer than six kids were screaming, splashing, and sharing less than 144 square feet of space. They were expending enough energy to power all the lightbulbs in Salt Lake for several hours.

"Yes", he replied. "Very effective."

"It's how we get through the summer." I smiled.

Actual, Verbatim Conversations

2008-06-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

ON MARKETING
B: Mom, I want a membership to Club Penguin.
Me: B, there are grownups who go to work to figure out how to make you want a membership on club Penguin.
B: Why?
Me: Because they want money.
B: Disney wants money?
Me: Everybody wants money.
B: Some people don’t want money.
Me: Who doesn’t want money?
B: Doofusses.

DON’T SWING DOG TAGS
B: W, you shouldn’t swing metal things around in the air. You could hurt somebody. (Notices the pain.) OW. (Pauses, rubs head, looks at his hand.)
AHHH. There’s blood. There’s blood coming from my head. My head is bloody. You made me have a bloody head!

(You should know that I stopped the very minor bleeding before writing this down.)

A perfect ending to a bumpy week.

2008-06-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

So the boys had their first sailing lessons tonight. It was AWESOME! I was pleasantly surprised all around. The people at the marina were great, the instructors were fantastic, and the kids were on the lake in their TINY boats within the hour. I couldn't believe how generous the other boaters were. I probably had four people volunteer to take us out on their boats. I can't EVER recall anyone at Powell being that friendly.

On the downside, today was cold. I packed coats, hats and gloves just to find out that near the marina, it's warmer. It was a comfortable 70 degrees out there. Coats and shoes and cowboy boots got left on the grass. Hats and gloves never made it out of the car. Wait- was that an "upside" instead?

The kids stayed dry- lucky me. I asked them how they liked it- they said, "I love this. This is so fun. It's awesome."

This is good, because (Confession time) I was harboring a fear that I was trying to live vicariously through them. I've always wanted to sail. And guess what? One of these days, I will. Alli's gonna teach me. But no- they were actually completely enthralled.

W is already working on me to buy a dinghy.

To Edify and Uplift...

2008-05-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, I question how kids process what we teach them. I know I can't accept any responsibility whatsoever for the following responses. Luckily, it wasn't my children saying the following last Sunday:
Randomly, At Choir Practice. a small child said: "WELCOME TO VEGAS!!!"

In response to a prompt from the Primary singing director teaching 'We Thank Thee, O God for a Prophet, asking what the "W" in an acronym chart stands for, a small child said: "SATAN!!"

And a few of my faves from the past:

While receiving the sacrament bread: "I WANT PEANUT BUTTER ON MINE!!"

(Please note: each of these answers were actually screamed.)

Answering the question, "Do we know when Jesus will come back?": "WITH THE PIRATES!! HE'S COMING WITH THE PIRATES!!!"

And my darling brother who was being hauled out of a meeting for some evil misbehavior, "MOM, YOU'RE GIVIN' ME A WEDGIE!!"

Oh, and the kid in my mom's ward who only had one line, and delivered it thus: "Thou shalt commit adultery."

AND... SalGal, I still remember your excellent story about the little girl hanging over the bench who growled, at the apex of the sacrament prayer, while your head was humbly lowered, "BOW TO ME!!" It's awesome that Mulan's villain had such an impact on her.

I love primary. Kids are awesome.

SUNDAYS are wonderful...

2008-05-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

Sundays are so great.

We sleep in. We go to choir, come home, eat, then go to church.

Then, we go to Mom's.

This is where I make my confession about being a spoiled brat. I am, I know it, I admit it.

But COME ON! You would be, too, if you had a mom that cooks for you every Sunday, and cooks Amazing dinners that compete with the very best restaurants... It's awesome. Plus, we spend the evening at their house, which is like a resort in itself. And when the weather's good, we walk off the amazing dinners around the golf course. The downside is that the kids are NEVER in bed on time on Sunday nights. That might be the only downside.

Last Sunday was especially delicious. The weather was fantastic, and all the dirt in the air gave us a surreal sunset that deserved popcorn. So we ate popcorn, too.

I went to a recital for my two little brothers who take clarinet/sax lessons. It was pretty good, considering what twenty some-odd reed-instrument students could subject an audience to. The kids did great! The instructor had to take home the gong award, though. Did you know that some guy wrote 29 variations on Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star? It's true. I heard them. ALL twenty-nine. (I think I actually counted 32.) Each one mimicked a famous composer's work. Yeah... a fifteen minute "finale" on a bassoon can change your perspective on things.

I'm being rude. But it really was excruciating towards the end. And my brothers did a really great job!!!

It says a lot that such an experience can't really damage a Sunday. They're that good. Sometimes I even get a nap.

A Fond Farewell to our Fine Feathered Friends

2008-05-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sticking to my guns in declaring that I'm just not a pet person. I really like to keep things simple, low maintenance, and changing. This does not include most pets.

Don't get me wrong- this doesn't mean that I dislike pets. I do like them. I like animals in general. I just don't like domesticating them much. I definitely don't like cleaning up after them.

Somehow (I know exactly how, but that's a different story) we ended up with pet ducks. To their credit, they were fun, entertaining, low-maintenance pets. We fed them, they did their thing. End of process. They had amazing names, thanks to my children. The first two were Garry McScary and Dilan Dallin. They were both female. (This came into question during the mating season when boy ducks were unavailable and they tried to procreate anyway. Obviously, they were unsuccessful.) We had a pond that we finally, after using it as a swimming pool for the kids for years, set into the ground as an actual pond. By the way, ponds make lovely kids' pools because they don't break easily and they're usually black, which means that if you fill them up and leave them in the sun for a while, the pool water gets quite warm. So we put this one in a shady spot thinking the ducks would appreciate the cooler water and the placement would keep down the algea. This was correct. What we did not anticipate was that the ducks would love the pond SO much that we would need a medium sized pool filter to keep it from getting utterly disgusting. We never did get an adequate filter.

Then, the day we were leaving for our annual Lake Powell adventure, my brother discovered that Dilan Dallin was dead. Apparently, she had drowned in the pond. I cried, my sweet brother buried the duck, and then I told the kids and cried with them. It was sad. I don't know if I was more sad that the kids were so upset, or if I was distraught at the idea that I managed to endanger a pet duck by giving it a pond. I mean, can you actually drown a duck? (Yes.)

Ducks are social. The remaining duck squawked loudly for weeks. Finally, after the hundredth time being awakened by a lonely duck at six o'clock in the morning, I drove up to the Davis county animal shelter and bought a five-dollar duck. The kids were thrilled. She was very tame and sweet. They named her "Gorgeous Emerald Lovely Nightshade" despite my encouragement to shorten it. We called her Shade.

This, too worked. Garry became more quiet.

But then there were the nightmares. The ones about little kids falling in the pond. It was awful-not even so much the drowning aspect, just the grossness of it. They were recurring, so I started thinking of solutions to the inherent danger of having 18 inches of water in one place. We had put in a gravel pathway on the same side of the house as the pond. The rocks were sharp. So we threw them into the pond, lowering the effective water level to 8 inches.

Then, in the same week, (last week) two things happened. First, we noticed the pond had cracked and decided not to replace it. We just let it drain out. Second, Lara discovered a hidden nest of eggs and Garry, not fearing her because of her diminutive size, chased her around the yard and pinched her leg.

Their fate was sealed.

Craigslist is awesome. Within forty-eight hours, the ducks had a new owner. He has a big pond.

I miss them a little. But I'm just not a pet person.

Now the kids are asking for new pets. They want:

A dog.

A turtle.

A dog.

A hog snake.

A dog.

I told them we're on a pet hiatus.

I know I already wrote about the zions trip, but there were so many more pictures...

2008-05-14T23:09:00.001-07:00

http://community.webshots.com/album/563421181JOMivc

An open letter to job hunters

2008-04-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

<- THIS doesn't work. (look at how many heel scratches there are on the chair!)

Seriously, people.

What possesses you to apply for a job in a professional office and think that they're not going to check you out online? I am SO tired of seeing more applicants in their underwear on their mySpace/facebook pages than I see in their clothes during interviews. (Thank you to those who maintain discretion as to their public image.) I have a simple suggestion: MAKE IT PRIVATE. By all means, express yourselves. Just don't show me.

Next, I understand that it's hard sometimes to remember things. Still, things like interview times and dates should be WRITTEN DOWN. It does not impress your future boss when you show up on the wrong day. And if we interviewed you on the wrong day, it was likely out of sheer curiosity, not an interest in employing you.

Can we please remember to change the heading on our resumes? For example, if you are applying for say, a law firm, don't caption your resume with, "Objective: To gain a challenging position in the entertainment industry using my charm, charisma, and special talents."

Also, please remember, when describing your education, that when you say you're majoring in something, try and remember which something that was, just in case it comes up again. I may be sleep-deprived, but I will remember whether you said you were going for a Masters degree in physics or a Ph.D. in Philosophy.

Along these lines, I would like to point out that you cannot change your major to "lawyer". pre-law is a major; "lawyer" is not. Saying you major in 'lawyer' makes you sound like you're out to get a husband who makes a lot of money and works all the time. Incidentally, this does not help you get a job in a law firm.

And if you're lucky enough to land another job before we catch you, it's ok to tell us that. You have my explicit permission to do it in LESS than five minutes of conversation. You won't hurt my feelings. Just call us up and say it: "I'm sorry. I won't be able to interview. I've accepted a position elsewhere." C'mon. How painful was that? If it still stung, try to remember that we're hiring because we're short-handed, and therefore most likely have EXTRA workload and not much extra time.

If you want to work with horses, wear jeans and cowboy boots to your interview. If you want to work with professionals, wear a suit or the equivalent. Remember that we're trying to picture you talking to our clients. If you make that image difficult to get to, you probably won't get the job.

Oh, and one more thing. The single-page resume is a rule. Not optional. DO NOT SEND ME NINE PAGES. I will not read it. I will not. I don't even care what you did in 1981 when you worked at a supermarket. I just want you to tell me what you've done that can prepare you for this job and why you should be picked. I promise that many, many people have been able to accomplish this feat in one page. Should we so desire, we may request your complete CV. But don't count on that. Oh, and if you don't proofread your resume, we're going to assume you can't proofread our work product. (That's a bad thing.)

Let's wrap it up with a short list of "NEVER"s.

Never say, "Which job is this? I applied for so many..." in the beginning of your interview. Or at the end. Or when we make you a job offer.

Never say, "I was right. I WAS right." When asked to describe a conflict that was successfully resolved.

Never wear see-through clothes to your interview. I don't want to focus on that mauve bra strap.

Never show up late. In fact, show up early. And sit there. You can do it.

Never ask where the interviewer lives. It's just creepy.

Never ask if any of our attorneys are single.

Never say you want the job because you're "so incredibly lonely" and you "want to talk to people in the office".

And, please, Please, PLEASE, never tell me that you're "interested in law because it seems so interesting".

Thanks, and good luck to you.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

2008-04-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

There are days when you wake up and realize that your groove was due to shift.

It's that whole, "to everything there is a season" thing, with my current season gaining five pounds (I think I'm gearing up for climbing season, but not entirely sure how to pull this junk up the wall.) taking on new stuff (I went shoe shopping again), trying in vain to replace great people at work (You know who you are, and you will be sorely missed), rearranging personal finances to accomodate more stuff (shoes v. weed killer v. need for the new convertible smart car.) you know, stuff like that. When all this hits suddenly, it feels a little bit cataclysmic.

Some things remain evergreen, like laundry issues. And still needing 4+ extra hours a day. And not being able to read enough books to feed my head. (See part about needing 4+ extra hours a day.) And dealing with kids who are just like me and think they're too smart for homework. And friends that pop up every couple of years to say hi. And this stinkin' winter. And certain cases at work.

Generally, I like change. I compulsively rearrange/redecorate/remodel. I do things on purpose to buck my daily routine. It's fair to say that the only thing I do at the same time every day is wake up. And that's iffy. But honestly, I'll be glad to get through this tiny bit of turbulence. Maybe I just need a nap.

Tagged

2008-04-30T15:12:00.001-07:00

Sally Ann tagged me.
I have been ordered to list 10 things ( in no particular order) I love about a relative.

Dear mom:

I love your patience.
I love your food.
I love your cars.
I love Sundays at your house.
I love our Saturday workouts/torture sessions.
I love the example you set for me.
I love that you love food more than I do.
I love your dedication to your kids, especially your missionaries.
I love your faith.
I love you. Of course!

I hereby tag ALLI & LIZA.

Normal is a myth.

2008-04-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I start to think my life is fairly normal.

Generally, some left-field missile of weirdness comes flying in to make sure I know better.

Here's todays:

B: Hey, dad, if you need to push something, and it's really heavy, call a Sumo.

R: huh?

B: I know they're fat, but they're really strong.

In the last five days...

2008-04-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday: Scout-a-rama. After failing to find a suitable excuse (sickness, disinterest, exhaustion and perpetual laundry do NOT constitute a viable excuse) to get out of it, I ended up at the south end of our beautiful valley with four kids. (No, I still only have three. We bring friends sometimes.) I actually had fun, though. We lost the kids periodically through the day and had to use the weird announcer guy a couple of times, but no one was permanently lost or removed from the premises, so all in all it was ok.

We climbed in a tank, saw an apache chopper take off, threw tomahawks, climbed a really easy wall, rode in the UHP's crash simulator, kicked the karate demo guy's dummy a lot, ran the obstacle course, and saw all the other weird things scouts apparently do.
Free advice: Do not let people take climbing pictures of you from the base of the wall. Not a very good angle, dang it. Oh, and see the shoes?The kids loved it. Bgirl showed up and made things WAY more entertaining. But she does that.

After we had ENOUGH of that, we went to Best Burger (YUM) and then to the newly christened Bulemia park. Named for the new spinny playground equipment that can induce vomiting in 1.3 seconds, but is so fun it seems fair.

Sunday: Sick. Church. Fabulous dinner at Mom's. Perfect day. (See picture of me, sick- SO pretty, thanks for the photo session, kids.)

Monday: Great weather. W found some sort of larvae. "Mom, look how cool this is." "Yep. Feed it to the ducks when you're done with it." "Ok."

As is typical, great weather may not be enjoyed until after some dreadful sickness has inflicted it's wrath on me. Oh, well. Policy is: drug up, go to work. Sleep. Repeat.

Tuesday: Great weather gone. I was supremely grateful that I sent the kids to school with sweatshirts when it SNOWED!! Sicker. Had some bizarre but fun dreams about a parking garage...

Wednesday: Not as sick. Mad about the snow. Had the following conversation with my 10 yr old who has been devouring my Classical Mythology college textbook:

W: Mom, it is a fact that Greek boys sometimes were in love with other Greek boys.

Me: Huh. What do you think of that?

W: (Shakes head) I think that's just plain weird.

Me: Yep.

W: And if you think about it, the story of Narcissus is hilarious. (He then proceeds to pantomime someone falling in love with a reflection in a puddle. Outstretched arms, half-squat, goofy expression on his face, priceless, I tell you.)

Also, we got an update from John- and here it is:

Hello Family, Well, I wrote a nice long letter and it was erased so I'm going to try again quickly. It is funny to hear about everyone being sick. My companion fell sick Saturday night and I fell sick Sunday. Sunday I drove him to the emergency room because he had a temperature of 39.7°C which is high, very high. We got home around midnight and didn't leave the appartment until this morning. If you would have walked into our appartment you would have seen either me on my bed and my companion in the bathroom or vice versa. It wasn't a pleasant experience. And we are still kind of sick. We will live. Our mission president has taken good care of us. I got to spend a lot of time thinking and learning. It was wonderful. I would love to share it all with you but I'm out of time.

Remember the only way to fail in life is to not use the Atonement.

I love you and miss you

LoveElder Oblad

Sorry so short.

I would like my room back.

"But my horoscope said..."

2008-04-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't know what it said. I tried a little experiment last year. I bought a daily horoscope calendar. I faithfully read... no. I sometimes checked... No. I tore them off in nine page chunks and read them to see if anything in the past nine days had been accurately predicted.

Results are inconclusive. Things were predicted. I did meet new people, I did have wonderful opportunities, and I did steer clear of strange people that the two-sentence predictions warned me away from. I went a little crazy on 'good money days'. I just happen to think that this might have been the result of, oh, I don't know, NORMAL, EVERYDAY LIFE.

Frankly, it's disappointing. I would LOVE to have a 2" x 3" piece of paper tell me, first, what day it is, then warn me all about days like today. It might read, "Get in your car and drive to an isolated place. Stay there for 24 hours, then come back. Much trauma will be avoided. You have a high propensity to be stupid today."

Alas, no such piece of paper exists.

Today was weird. Starting at midnight last night it was weird. I didn't much like it. It went like this, Bad event, VERY bad event. Sick kid event. Whining event. Feeling of suffocation event. Freaky weird event. Weird smell event. Unbelievably stupid event. End of events.

Bright side? Tomorrow can't be worse. Maybe it can. Watch out, everyone. The weirdness comes without warning.

Wanted: Full time Body Fluids Engineer

2008-04-08T18:08:00.001-07:00

Funny how fast you can get sick of sick.
B was a little under the weather on Sunday, so I tried out that superoptimism thing and hoped for the best. Monday morning, I was getting the kids off to school and B was telling me he was sick and shouldn't go. "I have a cough. Uh-heh, uh-heh", he demonstrated. I checked the glands under his chin and nothing was huge, so I said, "Let me look at your throat." I got out the flashlight thing and told him to say ahh. He, of course, blockaded the view of his throat with his tongue, so I said, "No, say AHHHH." He copied me, but precisely mid-AHH...

He Barfed. On my feet.

I laughed. To keep from barfing too. That made him mad.

He got to stay home.

And he stayed home today and W came home from school sick. L is now sound asleep on the couch.

Superoptimism doesn't work.

Conversations with kids:

2008-03-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

Kid's friend: Open the trunk. I need my pillow.
Me: Ok. (I notice lovely pinkish red flowers on pillowcase) Wow. Those are nice flowers.
Kid's friend: My mom gave it to me. What's wrong with flowers?
Me: Nothing. I'm impressed that you're so secure in your manhood.
Kid's friend: Huh?
Me: Secure in your manhood.
Kid's friend: Yeah. I'm not scared of my manhood.